Who has authority in YOUR life?

Normalised violence and numbed connections to our feelings and to our inner compass

Most of us grew up with the thought that authority in our lives is owned by other people or institutions. And that they only want the best for us. And when their orders or actions do not feel good or beneficial to us, we are told to believe that either, they know better that this thing is actually good for us (despite it feeling horrible for us), or that it is for the good of the collective, and the collective is more important than we as individuals. 

This often starts in early childhood, when parents, teachers and other adults in our life – that we so often are dependent on as little humans. And many times, we just carry this along even in our adult life. Our life experiences have told us that our own needs, wishes, perception, feelings and values do not matter, so that we often have numbed them. We end up not even knowing what we truly want (if it was up to us), and not realising that we are giving away our power. 

The first time I understood this was in my abusive marriage. He so often told me that his actions, decisions and orders were for my best, despite it often felt as though they were hurting, stressing and destroying me. And yet, I allowed this to continue for a long time. Because I had learned that I was not to be trusted. I had internalised this belief, too, along with the belief that others know better and that others/the collective/the system and their well-being is of higher importance. 

And where does this lead us to? A place where we allow us to be controlled and oftentimes abused. But since we are so used to it and so disconnected with ourselves, we have normalised this. And we cannot possibly thrive while being abused. But how are we going to create a healthy, thriving society if the individuals of this collective are unwell and broken??? It is IMPOSSIBLE.

A thriving collective can only be created by and with thriving individuals!

For me, these insights changed so much in my life. Connecting to myself, my needs, feelings, traumas, dreams, experiences and values, prioritising my own well-being and standing up for myself, my children and my values is not selfish at all – as I always had believed. Instead, stepping into my power, taking my responsibility and taking care of myself is the biggest contribution I can make to end the abuse in society that is happening on so many levels. It is my biggest contribution to create a society that is well, at peace and thriving. Because this can only happen if its individuals are well, at peace and thriving. 

We have an innate capacity to heal and to create thriving life. And this comes from the inside and from the wisdom of Mother Earth. Once we honour ourselves and the wisdom of nature (and we all are part of nature!). 

Are the systems serving you? Or are you serving the systems?

How do you feel about “authorities” – if you give them away? Do you feel that the school system, healthcare system, the government etc. truly want your very best, and that it also truly serves you to your very best? Do you feel seen, heard, uplifted, respected – and do you feel that all other people do, too? Have you ever experienced that you – or others – have been ignored, hurt, mobbed, stressed, threatened etc. through pressure, control or requirements by any authority figures? Why did you/they allow this? (No judgement!! I have done this many times before, some times the threats by the systems are big and scary, and I, too, am still doing it at times. But awareness is the first step to create change. And if many of us dare to step out of the game and into our own authority.)

On top of that, we are even told to be grateful for our “great” school system or healthcare system – despite it being damaging to us many times!! Yet, systems are supposed to serve us! To make our lives easier! Not the other way round. However, this is where we are at. And this is one of the things that need to change in order to bring more joy, life energy, healing and peace to humanity at this point!

How and where can you step into your own authority and sovereignty? 

Of course, this requires changes and courage. And yet, for me it is one of the essentials on our path to create a new world that is aligned with health and life. If you want support on your journey, you are very welcome to read here and get supported by other women and mums who are on a similar journey.